Sunday 21 August 2011


This morning Londoners are waking up to find one of their most beloved parks entirely transformed. A system of secret underground tunnels, dating from the Second World War, have fallen in on themselves, leaving St. James's Park and the surrounding area severely scarred. Resembling trenches, they cut deep lines from Buckingham Palace to the Admiral's Citadel, from the War Rooms to PINDAR, from Downing St. to The Buckingham Arms, and from the Guards Chapel to the ICA.

Exceptional circumstances have led to a reconfigured landscape reads one headline.

The Mayor of London is to make an appearance on Sunday the 21st, to assess the damage and reassure Londoners that everything is OK. It is believed the Mayor has already consulted his urban planning department and will propose the trenches be flooded and named after a certain Italian city, adding a new attractive feature to an already very leisurely lawn.

A young woman was seen on the afternoon before the collapse lying on her back, blowing bubbles next to the Ontologist's House, in the eastern end of the park. Onlookers have come out, since the collapse, suggesting that the impact of the bubbles bursting was extraordinary. There is, however, no evidence to prove a connection between the two incidents.

Talking of a deliberate act seems nonsensical, considering the tunnels were hardly known to the public . The rumours go that, until today, only a select few were in a position to access the full map of affairs.

An enthusiast declares its potential as a moment of insight. Old art, old tricks his wife replies.


Am Nuden Da invites you for drinks on Sunday the 21st August 2011 from 5-6pm in the Nash room at the ICA, London.